


Insomnia

by JanuaryGrey (Jan3693)



Series: The Rise and Fall of Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs [5]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Hogwarts, M/M, Puppy Love, Sharing a Bed, Studying, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2020-02-28 14:24:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18758221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jan3693/pseuds/JanuaryGrey
Summary: Remus can't sleep because of the moon. Sirius can't sleep because he's Sirius. They might as well not sleep together.Really just some cute little puppy love fluff.





	Insomnia

Most nights, Remus was a deep sleeper. He could snore straight through the shouts and small explosions that came part and parcel with sharing a dorm with James, Sirius, and Peter. On weekends, Remus could sleep through breakfast all the way to lunchtime if no one dragged him out of bed. 

It was as though his body was trying to store sleep. stockpiling it for that time of the month when Remus would find no rest at all.

The full moon wasn’t for two more days, but the anxiety, restlessness, and nausea that always accompanied it had started early this month. Remus had been tossing and turning in bed for hours, his mind racing in circles as his muscles ached and his stomach churned. Finally, he admitted defeat and rolled out of bed, shivering at the cold stones beneath his bare feet. He felt chilled to the bone but knew that his chills could turn to fevered sweats at any moment.

Grabbing the transfiguration textbook from his beside cabinet, Remus headed for the stairs, intending to curl up on a couch by the fire and get ahead on his reading since he was sure he would miss at least a day or two stuck in the hospital wing under Madame Pomfrey’s fiercely watchful eye. He was almost to the door when he saw the thin crack of light shining through the curtains of another bed.

It seemed Remus wasn’t the only one unable to sleep tonight. 

Remus wasn’t surprised to see the light was coming from Sirius’s bed. Of them all, Sirius probably slept the least. He was a chronic insomniac who somehow managed to function on a scant few hours of sleep caught every other night, or so it always seemed.

Like a moth, Remus felt himself drawn to the light, or rather to what was behind it. He and Sirius had officially been together for a little over a month now, and it was still thrilling and terrifying in equal measures. Even now, exhausted and anxious and woozy, Remus could feel his heart beat a little faster just thinking of Sirius. Of his boyfriend.

The polite, normal thing to do would have been to knock lightly on one of the bed posts or whisper a greeting to let Sirius know he was there, but Remus couldn’t resist the opportunity to just _look_ at Sirius. It felt like he’d been repressing the urge to do exactly that for so long that being able to look at Sirius without having to hide his interest, his longing, still felt strange and almost miraculous. 

Staring through the narrow slit between the curtains, Remus was gifted with a sight only rarely glimpsed by anyone around Hogwarts: Sirius Black studying.

Wearing a rumbled t-shirt for a Muggle band Remus had only vaguely heard of and a pair of red-striped pajama bottoms, Sirius sat cross-legged at the head of his bed. Books lay scattered around him. An inkpot balanced precariously on a small stack of textbooks, while Sirius used the back cover of another as a makeshift writing desk. Sirius was chewing absently on the end of his quill while the ink smudged index finger of his free hand wandered down the page of their charms textbook, searching for some specific point or theory.

There was something breathtakingly intimate about the scene before Remus. He felt almost embarrassed to witness it, but his discomfiture paled beside the twin forces of adoration and desire coiling in Remus’s chest. These feelings weren’t exactly new, but giving himself permission to feel them was.

“Going to stand there all night, Moony, or would you like to come in?” Sirius asked quietly.

Remus blushed and ducked his head, stammering out a whispered apology. Sirius didn’t look up right away. He kept his eyes on his parchment as he copied down a sentence in his elegant, almost calligraphic handwriting. Remus could have used that moment to escape downstairs or back to his own bed, but he didn’t. He was frozen in place. Had Sirius really just invited him into his bed?

When Sirius finally looked up there was a smirk on his lips so infuriatingly confident that Remus almost considered leaving out of spite. _Almost._

“Well?” Sirius asked quietly. When Remus remained firmly rooted in place, he picked up the book with the inkpot balanced precariously on top of it, and moved it to make room for Remus to sit facing him. “I could use your help with this bit about the theory behind the vinegar to wine spell.”

His smirk had softened, and when Remus nodded and finally slipped all the way through the curtains to sit on the bed, Sirius’s face almost reflected the nervous flutter Remus felt within his own chest. This was all new for Sirius too, Remus reminded himself.

There was a bit of shuffling, rearranging books and pillows, and few hasty spells to clean up after Sirius’s inkpot inevitably spilled. Then they were sat facing each other. An hour passed like that, studying mixed with glances that lingered when they caught each other looking, touches that might have been accidental, but became tentatively purposeful when they weren’t rejected. It was awkward and distracting, and even through his escalating exhaustion, Remus loved it. 

*

Sirius could see Remus was flagging. He’d been staring at the same paragraph for almost ten minutes now. His eyes were drooping, their focus going soft, and at any minute he was likely to topple over and upset the inkpot again. Even Sirius was finally feeling the bone-deep heaviness that told him he would finally be able to sleep. It was time for both of them to be done for the night, especially since they would soon be up all night for the coming full moon.

Remus didn’t even seem to notice as Sirius put away his books and essay. He continued to stare dazedly at transfiguration diagrams. A smile tugged at Sirius’s lips. It was unusual to see Remus so unguarded, so vulnerable. It raised protective feelings toward Remus that Sirius had possessed for years, but which he was discovering new facets to now that they were dating. He wanted to pull Remus down beside him, to wrap them both in blankets and hold him tight through all the pain the full moon brought every month.

When Sirius pulled the book from his hands, Remus startled out of a half doze. “I think we’re both ready to try falling asleep again, yeah?” Sirius whispered. 

He wanted to kiss the small dimple that formed at the corner of Remus’s sleepy smile. “You’re right…” Remus said around a yawn. He stretched his legs out, and some joint popped as he shuffled toward the edge of the bed.

Panic, sudden but still sleepy, tugged at Sirius, and he reached out, catching Remus’s wrist. 

“Stay?” Sirius whispered.

This was new territory for him, and he could feel his heart beating faster. He’d been with other boys, dated them, snogged them, even shagged a few, but he’d never had one in his bed. He’d never _slept_ with any of them. It had never been something that occurred to him. The dorm beds at Hogwarts were comfy but narrow, and Sirius had never felt the desire to squeeze himself into one beside another person. Until now.

Remus blinked and looked down at his wrist still encircled by Sirius’s ink-stained fingers. He looked awake now. Awake and suddenly nervous.

“Just to sleep,” Sirius said hastily. “It doesn’t have to be anything else, just sleeping.”

Remus bit his lip, tugging away the dimple Sirius still wanted to kiss. Sirius tried not to wince. Had he been too bold? Too forward? He’d only dated in the loosest sense of the word before this, really it had been more reoccurring appointments to snog behind tapestries and get each other off in unused classrooms. He’d never had a real boyfriend before, and even if he had, Remus was more than that already. Remus was special, and Sirius didn't want to screw things up with him.

“It’s all right,” Sirius added, trying to hide his sudden attack of nerves. “It’s all right if you don’t want to.” He wanted Remus here, to nestle close to him, but he didn’t want it if Remus didn’t. Trying to cuddle if Remus was too tense and anxious to want it wouldn’t give Sirius any enjoyment either.

Remus cocked his head to the side. He didn’t look at Sirius, but he stopped worrying at his lip. “Well, it is warmer in here than it would be back in my bed.”

Perhaps it wasn’t the ringing enthusiasm and passionate goodnight kiss Sirius might have liked, but he grinned like an idiot anyway. 

There was more shuffling and bumping of elbows and hips and knees and then Sirius was lying in bed with his boyfriend for the first time. 

Remus’s feet were cold and there wasn’t nearly enough room for them to sprawl comfortably. Yet...Remus pressed his icy toes against Sirius’s warm calves, and the tight space meant that they were both lying on their sides, facing each other only inches apart. 

“I don’t know if I’m going to be able to fall asleep,” Remus whispered. Sirius could feel the air of his breath across his cheek. 

“Me neither,” Sirius replied. He was staring into Remus’s wide, amber brown eyes, which should have felt ridiculous and clichéd. Instead it felt like being caught in a strange mirror, his own fears and hopes reflected back at him.

The dimple made a triumphant return as Remus smiled again. “It might help if we at least tried closing our eyes,” Remus said.

Sirius returned the small smile with a grin of his own. “I will if you will.”

Smile and dimple still in place, Remus closed his eyes. Sirius wasn’t sure if he should be relieved or disappointed, but he followed through and let his own tired eyes fall shut.

The press of lips against his own made Sirius’s eyes open right back up. The kiss had been briefer and possibly more innocent than any they’d ever shared before, and by the time Sirius could focus, Remus had already returned his head to his borrowed pillow. His eyes were still shut, but his smile was wider and self-satisfied.

Grinning, Sirius closed his eyes again.


End file.
